Ahh, the inner battle.
Holly wants to introduce me to her friend John. She thinks we'll be really cute and we'd get along great and blah blah blah. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure he's a really nice guy and it's more than possible we'd hit it off, but I just can't help but think why...
I'm 17 years old. I had my first official boyfriend at 13. I have had 6 official boyfriends. I have "dated" something like 5 more (as in not serious, but we flirted, thought about dating, etc). I've had crushes on countless guys and I'm sure have been crushed on multiple times. Out of the 6 actual relationships, only two have been for more than two months. One of those two lasted almost six months, but we saw each other at most twice a week. The other ended up being a complete asshole, and to this day, I have no idea what really happened - if he cheated on me, what he lied to me about, I know we fought and broke up, but it's hard to say the real reason. In short, after 4 years of dating, I have had 0 successful relationships. I don't regret it, don't get me wrong, I'm just losing hope.
The last guy, wow... I don't even know how to describe him. I met him through a friend, we thought we couldn't date because it would make people, (well, one person,) mad, but we did anyway and he was just amazing. He took me out all the time, we talked every night, we could hang out for hours and never run out of things to do or talk about. I thought I could fall in love with him. I was falling in love with him. Then, one day, out of nowhere, he broke up with me. No fight, no anger, just said he wasn't being fair to me and broke up with me. That was 4 weeks and 2 days ago. Since then I have heard nothing from him. No, that's false, I have heard 7: "All I can say is I'm sorry." Sorry for what? For lying to me? For breaking my heart? for ignoring me for a month? For making me promise that no matter what, we'd still talk, and not even 2 hours later, breaking up with me? He didn't specify.
Now I'm afraid to get involved with anyone else. The last rebound relationship I had was completely horrible. After my longest relationship (13 months), I dated a guy for a few weeks and he took it way to seriously. Granted, I might have led him on, I take responsibility for that one, but he was still pining for me a year later. He's the friend that wouldn't accept my last relationship.
What if I do the same thing? What if I hurt someone else? What if I get hurt? Whats the point of dating these guys for 6 weeks at a time?
I've only been at it for a few years, how am I going to do it? I quit, I can't face however many more years of this.
Maybe I'll get a mail-order boyfriend...
4 years ago
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2 comments:
LOL, welcome to dating sweetie. Its not easy and most of the time it sucks. Everytime two people (or sometimes, just one person) opens their heart up to the other, they are taking a great risk. And each time that risk doesnt pay off, it is just a little bit harder to risk it again, but you shouldnt give up. So you hang out with this guy, go with a bunch of people, meet, see whats up. If you're into him, give him a chance, if not, dont. Just be honest.
My only comment is, it's different for everyone. There's nothing wrong with being by yourself for a while, and there's nothing wrong with meeting people, either. I personally hate being set up - too many expectations. I say, "If you want to set me up with someone, have a party, invite us both, and let us figure out the rest." If you're not interested, you're not interested, and whatever.
The more guys you meet, the more you know what to look for and what to avoid. It's not like you're losing six weeks of your life if you enjoy the company, don't let other opportunities pass you by, and try not to let yourself fall too fast. That last one is the hard one. But it does help you learn how to get over disappointment. So if you don't want to find out if you like him, fine, but don't have regrets, either. I still regret not accepting that beer from a guy in George's Bar back in 1999. I'm pathetic. ;)
Don't worry about your track record. I've been at it 15 years and I'm still looking at your success rate. It's stupid to lose hope. I still meet assholes and I still meet nice guys with no chemistry and I still hope Mr. Right-For-Me is out there. And I never turn down an opportunity. But that's how I'm choosing to live my love life. You have to figure out how to live yours on your own.
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