--Beer Fridge-->

I'm going to brag.
I did AWESOME on my ACT retake.
30 Baby!
So now I'm up for a major scholarship through Drake.
I still haven't heard from them.
I know I shouldn't worry, but I can't help it.
I'm ...
I don't even know what I am any more.
I'm tired and lonely and bored and frustrated.
I'm not enjoying this year at all.
Senior year was supposed to be the best.
All my friends either moved away or are busy.
I'm busy. There's too much stuff to do.
Year book is sucking. No one does their job.
I don't know what to do anymore.
We're way late for our deadline already.
I'm going through this year one day at a time, just waiting for the end to come.
I keep telling myself that I'm ready for college,
that this year sucks because I'm stuck in this stage and ready for the next,
But what if I'm not.
What if I get to college, and I'm lost.
What if I make no new friends.
What if I suck it up in all my classes.
What if I let everyone down.
I don't know how I'm ever going to pay for it.
Forget about tuition, what about food?
Going out with friends? if I find any friends...
God I hate this.
I hate doubting myself.
I really hate the reason why.
I'm lonely.
I'm lonely because there isn't a guy in my life.
I'm supposed to be stronger than that.
Look at all the wonderful women in my life,
The incredibly beautiful, and talented, and strong women.
Why can't I be more like them?
This is stupid.
This isn't who I'm supposed to be.
I'm going to let everyone down.
I'm going to let myself down,
But I don't know what to do about it.
I can't even find words to describe what I'm feeling.
Yeah, I'm going to make a freakin great writer someday...