Countdown to College!

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

OOOOK

Well luckily that bad mood wore off.
It was really suckish while it lasted though.
But tonight, all is good.
Maybe it was finding out that I got $21,700 IN SCHOLARSHIPS AND GRANTS!!!!!!!!!
That's 2/3 of my college cost. 
And that's just from the FASFA stuff.
I'm still in the running for quite a few local scholarships.
AND the rest can be covered through student loans and work study.
So that's good.
And musical practice went well today.
I really like when it goes well.
So yeah, good day. =)

Monday, March 30, 2009

Bad day again.
I guess its good.
It's been a while since I've had a really bad day, I think.

I feel like I'm in this alone.
Like no one really cares.
I know they do, at least people say they do, but they don't really act like it.
No one wants to do anything with me.
No one invites me to do anything.
When I actually have plans, they normally blow me off.
My texts go unanswered. 
It just seems to me that no one really wants me around.
I'm either in the way or just oblivious. 
For once, I'd like to feel like someone actually appreciates my presence, 
Not just feels obligated to have me around, 
Or needs me for something.

I'm so scared that I'll get stuck in the same situation next year.
I'm so tired of being the annoying girl that no one likes.
I don't want to change who I am, but no one seems to like who I am, including me.

I don't know what I have to do to make you like me.
What about me is so unacceptable that you can't stand to even be around me.
We used to be friends, and now you ignore me.
How the hell am I supposed to take that?
If I did something, tell me.
I just want to enjoy the next few months, but the possibility of that is rapidly becoming more bleak. 

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Well, I guess I need to learn to Yoga on my own because I missed it again for the second week in a row. I woke up this morning with the mother of all migraines and opted to just skip out on school rather than being miserable. Sleeping all day and going to the chiro didn't help much, but hopefully sleeping for the rest of the night will.  
This is the first migraine I've had in quite a while though, so that's a good sign, right? Maybe my headaches are just my body's way of telling me that I need to take a day off. Yeah. Hopefully that's it.

On a brighter note, Casey will be here in less than 40 hours! Woot!  I haven't seen him since August and he's making the trip all the way out here just to hang out with me for a couple of days, so that's pretty awesome.
I miss him tons. Stupid distance. OH well.

I officially have senoritis. I have lost all motivation. It really sucks a lot. I'm not sure if I'm just really ready to move on or if all my hard work in the past 18 years has completely burnt me out. I really hope it wears off before next year. Flunking out of college is not a good option for me.

Either way, I really don't have time to ramble on and on tonight so wish me luck getting to sleep after sleeping in until about 1 p.m. today. =)