Roooommie

My fears of a freak for a roommate have been proven erroneous. 

Name: Christina Guerrero.

Occupation: Roommate at Drake.

Position: Awesome.

So far, I have found nothing I don't like. She's a gamer, likes the same kind of music, plays guitar and bass, watches a lot of movies. It's a good time.

I'm pretty stoked.

TFLN

new favorite site: http://textsfromlastnight.com/

Some excerpts (the ones I literally laughed out loud about)

(951): ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am 

(707): last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.

my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion

(404): Ben's a prick.   (1-404): What Ben are you talking about?  (404): All the bens across all the lands

           with the comment :"Ha ha, that's the name I use for my one night stands with bar trash. Fantastic."

(224): Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'   (224): Im going to research this theory. . .

(713): How bad was it?  (1-713): You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth

(401): i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook   (1-401): you can....by speaking... 

(916): i think i have herpe   (1-916): just one? 

(850): Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.

(908): bl l w   (201): this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel

 And the best yet:

(309): Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile

A Song that No One Sings

One Month, One Day.

I am losing hope that things will get better when I get there.

In fact, I'm starting to believe I will fuck it up as badly as I've been fucking everything up lately. 

Everything I try to do falls apart. I can't even take tape of a freakin wall without failing miserably.

I think maybe I need to do the drugs again. I stopped for awhile. Can't remember why. I think I just kept forgetting and then quit trying to remember. Either way, something's not right and I need to do something different so I don't spiral as bad as last time.

All I feel like doing is crying. It seems like everything I do is wrong. I don't want to keep going like this. I can't keep going like this. I'm losing my will to do anything. All I can think about is what needs done, what I don't have, what I want, what I can't have.  It's killing me. 

I keep telling myself it will get better. I hope its not a lie.

Day by day

WELL It's getting closer. 37 days till move in and getting more and more anxious (in all senses of the word) every day. Still don't have any info on my roommate, should be coming soon though so I can start getting the stuff we still need. I did get an email from my PMAC (Peer Mentor and Academic Consultant) a couple days ago, and the OL's were right: we are going to get along really well. Right now, I'm afraid I'll want to be like actual friends and she'll think I'm an icky freshman. But we'll see. 

My godfather, Bob, and Lori and their son Robbie came out to see us as part of their summer vacation so they're here tonight. AKA I had to be in my room by 11 as to not keep the old geezer up :P SOooooo I'm going to watch movies and snack till I can actually fall asleep.

Land Ho!

Inbox: 78

Of those, 24 are Twitter. 

The rest are from my dad, Ben, and some random friend of the day. It rotates between Liz, Tyler, and Danielle.

I cannot wait for college just so I have friends again. I haven't seen anyone in ages, and when I do run into someone, I have to decide whether to try to avoid them or just go say hi.

This summer is most definitely the worst of my life. The weather sucks, I've been sick, and all I do is babysit and work. I want to do something fun.

I want to go on vacation, but I'm afraid to miss more work. 

No one invites me to do anything cool anymore.

I feel lame.

Actually, I'm sure I get invited to do more stuff than I think, but I don't feel like doing it.

I'm in a rut. Nothing sounds fun anymore. I keep saying to myself that it'll all be better in a month ( and a week and four days, if you note the counter) but that stupid little voice in my head says it'll all be one big disappointment and I won't be happy there either. It's telling me that something is missing but it won't tell me what it is.

I keep wondering if it's a boyfriend, but that can't be it. That's just the other little voice that's jealous of my friends because they're happy. 

A boy wouldn't make me happy. He would tie me down and just make me sad when I had to leave. 

Summer always moves fast. Except for this one. 

I have a feeling the last month of summer is going to drag on even longer than the last month of school did.