this is really weird.
I'm not sure I've ever gone this long without having a crush before.
Well, not since sixth grade when I actually started liking boys.
(AHH MAN! Any other boy blog? Crap. Well to you I say, Shut Up! ;) )
It seems like I always have a thing, at least a little one, for at least one boy.
Always.
Right now, nothing.
No one, I should say.
It's really weird.
It's been like this for a few months now.
There is no prospects.
No one I'm even remotely interested in.
There's no one even eligible.
I'm not sure what it means yet.
I keep telling myself it's so I'll be available when the right person comes along,
That God is sending someone my way, and this way I'll be ready,
But no one is here yet.
I've been keeping my eyes open, considering people I never have before,
Nope.
Nothing there.
There's always that I'm just supposed to be alone right now,
Nothing wrong with that.
And it's very true.
I like being single.
I can be who I want,
Where I want,
When I want,
and not have to worry that it's going to make my boyfriend mad.
But I feel so alone.
I have AMAZING friends, but there's a missing thing there.
When something amazing happens, there's no one that I automatically want to tell.
If I have a spare hour when I'm bored, no one immediately comes to mind to call.
Who do I invite to a Hawks game or a cousin's wedding or a school dance?
Yeah, my amazing friends, but it's just different.
And most of my friends have significant others.
They have their boyfriends or their girlfriends,
so at the end of the night, they want to be with them.
I completely understand that, but where does it leave me?
Alone at home with a book or the remote.
I'm just not sure what to do anymore.
Yeah, there's college.
I'm sure to meet TONS of new people there.
Friends.
More than friends...
But that's 10 months from now.
I love her dearly, but I don't want to bring Danielle to Prom.
I want to have all the fun senior memories.
I'd love to go on a first date.
I'm just out of people.
Grrrr.
4 years ago
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