Letters that you never meant to send.

I hate this. I hate who I am, who you've made me. I thought I was stronger than this. You are my kryptonite. I've had my heart broken before, but this is more. This isn't heartbreak. This is utter humiliation. You made me promise, Promise, that no matter what happened, we'd still talk, we'd still be friends.

I haven't cried like this since freshman year. My hot tears are running down my cheeks, and I've stopped wiping them away. There's no point. More would follow and take their place.

I thought you were different. I thought you were cool. I thought you were mature. I figured even if it didn't work, even if the distance got to us or college wedged it's way between us, we could at least talk and remember the good times. I thought you wanted that too. I have never been so wrong about someone in my entire life.

You completely blindsided me. The person I met - the one I opened up to, the one I let into my heart even thought everything in my head told me not to - turned out to be the complete opposite of everything you told me you were.

I've been lied to before, but not like this. I've been used before, but not like this.

"All I can say is I'm sorry."

Lies.

You could explain why. You could tell me why the person I gave everything to turned around ripped out my heart and threw it in the trash. No, that's a lie, too. You didn't even care that much. You just ignored me completely.

I'm not even worth words. I'm below you.

Do you see what you've made me? I'm a blubbering mess on the floor. I can't pick myself up. No matter how much I try, I can't move on. I hear a song and think of you. I say something and think of you. I see a picture and think of you.

You never think of me. You don't have to tell me, I know. If you did, you wouldn't be able to do this. I'm sure by now, you've found some other girl, someone else who thinks your different, who thinks maybe this time she won't get hurt.

Can you promise me one thing? Let her down easier than you did me. Tell her why. Give her notice, don't spring it on her. Let her know its coming so that she might actually have a fighting chance of saving a small piece of her heart. A fight maybe? Don't ignore her either. Answer her calls, acknowledge her existence. Even if you don't want to be with her, don't tear her down till she's even lower than the dirt you walk on. Anyone who has the courage to try deserves better than that.

Plus, I don't think your soul is strong enough to take the karma of another utter humiliation.