*sigh*

So my uncle died.
My mom's brother, he was only 53.
We all were scared to hear how.
He had been going through a pretty rough patch in his life.
I won't lie, Suicide was the first thing to pop into my head.
But, as horrible as it sounds, luckily it was a heart attack.

Now I'm in Waulkegan, his visitation was last night.
I was ok until my cousin Brandon cried. We were standing next to each other, and he just lost it.
Afterwards, he looked up at me angrily, "You made me cry!"
"Nuh uh! You made ME cry!"
Sibling rivalry. :)

Ok, so family rundown.
I was a "surprise" so all of my cousins are at least 6 years younger or older than me.
ALL of them.
SO, at all family gatherings, I get picked on.
On Dad's side, the bigger ones pick on me.
On Mom's side, I play distraction for the younger ones.
It used to be fun, painful, but fun.
But I've gotten older, so being piled with pillows and used as a punching bag is no longer my idea of a fun time.
I told you all that to tell you this:
My younger cousin, Kayla, told me yesterday that I'm not fun anymore.
THAT was a punch in the face.
But, ya know, now it's their turn.
The older ones can teach the younger ones all that I taught them,
Everything my older cousins taught me.
I guess it's just been a reflextionary couple of days.

Ooo! Also, my other Uncle John told me that my cousin really enjoys reading my blog.
I didn't know she even did, so that was exciting.
At first, I was a little embarrased because I'm rather...Colorful with it sometimes, but oh well!

On the boy front, I'm thinking about asking my friend Chris to Homecoming.
He's from New London, so it's kind of a drive, but I've gone down there a couple times, so he owes me a trip or two.
Liz thinks it would be a TON of fun, but if all else fails, there's still Danielle and that would be a BLAST!!

Something else....hmmm
OH yeah!
Yearbook.
I thought it was going to be good, the staff at least.
I really didn't think we were going to have any problems.
WRONG!
A bunch of junior girls who don't listen and talk ALL THE TIME!
This is some important stuff we're trying to do, and all they care about is what they think.
Too bad none of it is useful or makes sense at all...
GUEOIUGHA:KJLIVJLKEA
On the bright side, I got the ladder done.
Margo (my advisor) has been on my back about that sinse the beginning of the year.
And they'll have last year's books out today, so thats exciting.
Now we'll just have to field complains about something we can't change and had nothing to do with.
Great.

But I'm over it
lol


Ok, enough for now.

WTF, Mate!

Courtesy of Dictionary.com

No results found for hors d'ouvres:

Did you mean pestiferous?


Why yes, I did.
Thanks Dictionary.com!
What would I ever do without you?

*Sniff*

Welp,
It's 1am.
I'm sick.
I've been home for the past two days.
I have to work tomorrow at 7am.
As my luck goes, of course, I can't sleep.
So I write.

I'm breaking up with Steve tomorrow.
I don't mind being friends with him, I hope we can keep that up,
but he's too serious too fast.
He told me he was falling in love with me the other day.
I've only known him for a month.

Plus, I'm just kinda confused right now.
I don't really know what I want.
It's senior year, and I definitely don't want to be tied down,
esp to someone I don't really like that much. LOL

I wish I could breathe.
Breathing is nice.

My article on the parking lot is going to run on the front page of The Beaver Tale.
Thats exciting!
Not so exciting: someone screwed up all the staffs plans and told everyone that the yearbooks are in, so we can't do the release party like we planned.
The staff is already pissing me off.
I think I'm going to kill someone by the end of the year.

Oo! more news.
I found a date for homecoming, maybe.
I asked Danielle if she'd go with me, and she said yes!
I'm not making that definite yet, in case a boy asks me, but Danielle and I would have too much fun with it, so it'll be a blast either way. :)

Brian Regan's new special is on tomorrow.
I am PSYCHED!
He's probably my new favorite comedian.

Ok, well thats all the random shit I can think of right now.
I'll have more later.

Life is truely a bitch.

Nic Peterson died.
20 years old, riding on his motorcycle,
Dead.
That was like a bus hitting me.
Josh is in my class.
Watching him suffer through school today was god awful.
Seeing all of my big tough football guy friends cry,
My heart hurt after that.
Tomorrow is his memorial service.
Thats going to suck too.

Why do bad things have to happen to good people?
Nic was always nice.
He treated everyone like a friend.
He was this amazing kid with so much potential, but now, just gone.

I know everything is by His plan, but sometimes I wonder how this could ever be part of anything Divine?
Nic didn't deserve this.

-------------------------------------------------------

On a side note, for my devoted readers, two updates:

Prom and Grad WILL be in the yearbook. The deadline for the supplement that goes in the back is June 1st, so we'll hand out the books in May, and send out the supplements next Sept. Everything is good now.

Also, for my big sisters who worry, Steve is nothing serious, just another experience under my belt. --Everyone's got to have that musician type, right?-- I'm leaving for college in less than a year (getting closer every day). I know this. He knows this. We're just hanging out and having fun. And it's not just him. I've met some great people before him and through him. For once, I don't feel like a tag along. I'm Nicole. Their friend, not Liz's friend, not Danielle's friend, not Lew's little cousin, not someone who found out about the party and showed up even though they didn't really want her there, I'm Nicole. They invite me on purpose, not because they feel obligated.

It's nice to fell really wanted by a whole group of people. I'm not sure I've ever really had that before.